What not to tell your librarian

Guess what? Those people who sit at that desk near the computers on the 1st floor, those friendly men and women under that sign that says "REFERENCE" ... they want to help you. They want for you to come ask them questions about how to find a book or locate an article for your research paper, or even how to email an attachment or find a good recipe site. That is truly how they get their kicks.

But please, please, please, don't start your question this way: "I'm writing a paper for my girlfriend, and I need to find...."

This causes our helper circuits to cross with our academic integrity circuits, creating a system meltdown.

Cheating is so not cool. You know that. But if you're going to do it, anyway, please don't tell your librarian.